Wednesday, September 18, 2013

MVP- Most Valuable Primate! A movie for the ages!

   Finally a good movie for me to review! Or I have horrible taste. Which I know I do, since I can enjoy any movie as long as it isn't boring, like Primer. The 90s were famous for movie costarring animals, who helped children overcome their problems. Everyone remembers Air Bud, or Dunstin Checks In right ? But what about MVP- Most Valuable Primate ? Yeah, neither did I til last week. When I read about it,  I knew it was my destiny to watch it!
   Just look at that poster! A monkey playing hockey ? Holy shit, it's everything I never knew I wanted in a movie! Look at how adorable he is in that outfit, and holding that hockey stick! Plus it's from the producer of Air Bud! What could go wrong ?
     The movie beings in what looks like a child's room with an alarm going off. Then from under a blanket appears the hand of a chimp! The wild ride of monkeydom begins! The chimp is named Jack, and he undresses and gets in the shower, brushes his teeth, and blow drys his fur! Just like any normal person would!
   He even wears a towel to cover his shame! Apparently Jack is an intelligent chimpanzee trained by an old college professor, who dies early on. The college decides that they should sell him as a test animal facility, instead of the preserve with the chimp's mom. This is overheard by the janitor at the college, who the chimp often helps out with his work.
Look at them rollerskating around dunking trash in the hallway like the best of friends. I would love to attend a college with a rollerskating monkey in the halls. My Dog is in her third level of school and she still can't even qualify for the dole, or get a job at McDonald's.How did they not think of making Jack the mascot ? This only proves my idea that all people in positions of power are morons. In any case, the janitor helps the chimp escape by putting him on a train he thought was being sent to the preserve, but instead it goes to Canada! The land of moose, maple syrup, and Hockey!
  Enter a teenage hockey player and his deaf sister. They recently moved to Canada, since this is just standard par for course int these films. The lead is once again that kid from Air Bud- Kevin Zeggers
   Yes, he does look like a young Zac Efron. In this film he goes by the unique name of Steve, and want to attain a hockey scholarship. Unfortunately, the team at his new school is horrible! This is a wholly original plot, and you must be insane to think it has been used prior to this. Steve's deaf sister has trouble making friends due to her deafness, til she sees a monkey outside her window one day, and faints. Who faints when you see a monkey ? Seriously ? Jack enters her room and knows sign language, so they quickly become the best of friends. Jack helps her make friends, with his awesome style, and love of jujubes. End of B plot, onto the main story- a monkey playing hockey!

       While outside practicing, on a whim Steve lets the monkey play hockey, and it's an amazing player! What a surprising turn of events! Jack joins the team at school, helping them win every game and go to the finals! The press surrounding the monkey reaches the eyes of the man who wanted to sell the chimp to a research facility! Luckily the hockey team intimidates him into backing off, but he will return with court documents forcing them to return Jack!
 
   On the eve of their final game, they send Jack to the preserve, believing they can win without him! Steve's deaf sister pretends to be Jack to throw off the bad man from the college, and the team wins the championship! Go team!
   Jack is shown to be happily living at the nature preserve, and Steve recieves a scholarship offer from a college scout. A typical happy ending for a family movie. I would have hated this movie if there hadn't been a Chimpanzee, but lucky for all of us, it did! There are sequels, but we all know the formula wears this after the first one. I learned from Wikipedia that the dog in Air Bud, was also the dog on Full House. Man, that is a hell of a career for a dog.

 MVP Most Valuable Primate-10/10

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