Someday, God willing I will review a movie that is good, and I enjoyed. But today is not the day for that! It's time to review Dragon Ball Z : Battle of the Gods ( or
Kami to Kami for you weaboos).
Like most kids who grew up in the 90s, I loved Dragon Ball Z. The story of super strong fighters using power blasts to throw down for the fate of earth ? Fuck yes I was down for that shit. This is the show that inspired me to work out, to try my best when things looked grim, to never give up. So it is an understand to say I love Dragon Ball Z. As I got older, I kept watching the arcs that were slowly trickled down on Toonami, til the show finished airing. These days I'm a huge fan of the manga, and Dragon Ball Kai. I'm eagerly awaiting the Buu saga Kai style, though I may die of happiness seeing Super Saiyan 3 Goku in new animation.
The Dragon Ball Z movies have always been more hits that misses. Personally, I enjoyed Broly-The Legendary Super Saiyan(
Burn Up!! A Close Fight - A Violent Fight - A Super Fierce Fight enjoy this weaboos!) Fusion Reborn (Fukkatsu no Fusion!! Goku to Vegeta ) and Wrath of the Dragon (
Dragon Fist Explosion!! If Goku Can't Do It, Who Will?) The rest of them were chores to watch, and you could not pay me to do so again. Still they were leagues better than Dragon Ball Evolution. So after close to 17 years after Path to Power, we get another Dragon Ball movie. Who wasn't excited for the prospect of seeing Goku throw down with a new villain after all these years ?
This poster contains quite some misdirection right off the bat. There is little fighting in this movie, especially considering it's fucking Dragon Ball. But onto that later. Our film begins with Goku training on King Kai's planet, since how else would a Dragon Ball film begin ? Soon the scene shifts to our "villain" Bills (yes I know thats stupid) who is a anthropomorphic Sphyx cat( those ugly hairless cats rich folks keep) awakening from his slumber after 39 years. While he is refilling himself with food after years of slumber, his transgendered manservant tells him of Frieza being defeated by a Saiyan! I guess Frieza is the Dragon Ball universe's equivalent of a ruler for strength. Anyway after this Bills and the Tranny go and speak to a fish, who made some prophecy about Bills fighting a Saiyan who defeated Frieza. Yeah, whatever gets them to fight I suppose.
Bills and the Tranny fly to King Kai's place, since that is where they sense Goku.
Yes, those are some threatening ass villains. I tremble at their might. Bills doesn't see Goku as a threat, but Goku does what he always does around a stronger person- challenges him. Bills gives Goku one of the lamest beat downs in the Dragon Ball Universe, even while Goku is in Super Saiyan 3 form. After this Bills and the Tranny go to earth to find Vegeta, and presumably Trunks, Gohan, and Goten, mumurming something about a Super Saiyan God! A new form to achieve ? Fuck yes, that is what Dragon Ball is all about! Achieving the next level!
Down on earth the Z gang are celebrating Bulma's 38 birthday! What do you get for the woman who has everything ? Nothing, that's what. You show up to mooch, and she entertains you! Bills and Tranny arrive, and Vegeta, fearing them, tries to show them that he isn't a threat, and soon Bulma invites them to her party! This is the bulk of the movie. Bills and his Tranny companion eat delicious food, and Vegeta keeps acting out of character trying to placate the Gods. Emperor Pilaf and the gang show up for some comedic relief, since what do you do to fix a turd ? Bring in more memorable characters from the past to help you recall happier times. Apparently at some point Pilaf, Mai, and Shu wished to be young on the Dragon Balls, and were turned into children. Now they want them to become adults again! There's a weird sub plot where Trunks has a crush on Mai, and claims to be her boyfriend, but it's really irrelevant to the story.
The action begins when Tranny recommends the pudding to Bills, but Majin Buu has it all! And he won't share! Oh noes! Bills gets angry, and finally, we get some lame curb stomp battles. Vegeta is taken out like a bitch, Gohan gets the same treatment, and fusing to Gotenks, Goten and Trunks get spanked by Bills. So it's up to Bulma to save the day! She is immediately slapped by Bills, falling to the ground. Since this is Dragon Ball, Vegeta's rage at this pushes him to an even greater strength. Unfortunately, he isn't Goku, so he still loses.
Now it's time for our Hero to shine! Goku appears, and concocts the brilliant plan of using the Dragon Balls to ask Shenron how to become a Super Saiyan God! Naturally he knows- all you have to do is stand in a circle holding hands, and be a Saiyan! There was a God of Saiyans in the past, but the evil of the Saiyans killed him. Whatever, I didn't expect great depth from this movie anyway. The gang all goes Super Saiyan, but it's not enough! You need six Saiyan-five to hold hands, and one to absorb the power! Let's see Goku absorbs the power of course, and we have Gohan, Vegeta, Trunks, and Goten . . . that's only four! We're fucked! Wait Videl is pregnant with Pan ? Game on!
Yep, this is Super Saiyan God. The hair looked more orange in promo shots, but it's definitely magenta. Goku also gets skinnier, and receives a nice tan. Apparently Gay Bar Goku here is suppose to appeal to Moefags or something ? I hate it, and if you like this I hate you too. Now Goku can fight even with Bills! Cue shots of CG landscapes flying by and trading blows, with of course the classic standing around and taunting!
Goku burns out his God energy, but is still able to fight Bills. The fight does resolve once and for all that Saiyans can indeed breathe in space, and Goku and Bills throwdown there. Bills creates some sort of gigantic sun looking attack, but Goku, naturally stops it. Though, the effort for this attack burns through all his energy. Bills claims he will destroy earth, and he does- by flicking a piece of rock off a pile. Then he reveals there are 12 other Gods of destruction, and that the Tranny is his teacher, and even more powerful than he! Sequels, sequels everywhere! Bills declares it's time for his nap, and returns to his planet. Vegeta vows to surpass Goku and become Super Saiyan God next time, and Cha- La-Head-Cha-La plays over images from the manga.
I honestly hate this movie. There was no sense of urgency to win the fight, and is Bills even a villain ? He just seemed bored with everything and threatening to destroy earth was something to pass the time. Bills didn't look like a villain, and revealing there were more like him was such a cheap hook. Super Saiyan God looks to fabulous for the Dragon Ball universe, and it played the Goku is the only one who can do it card too easily. Just let Dragon Ball rest, isn't everyone involved rich enough ? Just give me the Buu saga Kai style already.
Dragon Ball Z Battle of the Gods-3/10
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