Weaboo food review, with all the Japanese snacks you can find at Five Below.

As with most weaboos, I love anything to do with Japan, and that includes Japanese snacks! I use to buy them all the time at World Market, but then the local one closed. Then I found out there was another World Market 30 minutes away. I headed out there, and they also had the best Toys R Us I've ever been at, because it's in a rich area, and rich folk don't buy toys. By that Toys R us however, there was a Five below. It's like a dollar store, but everything there is $5 or below. I picked up a few cheap Transformers (Dark of The Moon deluxe) and delicious weaboo snacks. Now let's check out my haul!

That is quite the meal, one that could almost give you diabetes. I'm currently dying from it, so I hope you all appreciate my sacrifice. Time for the My little Pony Energy Drink!

You know those generic energy drinks they sell at random stores that think they're cool, such as Hot Topic, FYE, and Spencers ? They ones that are all the same shit, but with different labels slapped on them ? That's pretty much what these are, but with with cherry taste, instead of a sour one. It's like a cherry 7 up, but with more sugar. I felt like a faggot drinking this, and it gave me a headache. Clearly this was a test to see if I was a Brony, and I failed. But I bet you wouldn't! 4/10, for Bronies only.

Grape Ramune! I first became infatuated with ramune after seeing it is Raxephon. Then I saw it at my local FYE (RIP) and have been sporadically drinking them ever since. World Market has the widest variety of flavors, but I hate going there, and always leave with $50 in diabetes inducing snacks. Anyways this drink barely tastes like grape, it's closer to selzter water with a hint of grape cough syrup, so in short it's awful. Most ramunes are awful, but the Japanese writing tricks me every time,  That and the cool marble pop gimmick that opens it.  2/10, but I have no doubt I'll but it again.

As an ex-energy drink whore, I feel compelled to try any new energy drink. Even ones that are spin offs of shitty drinks I hate. They were even on sale at Target for 2/$3These share something in common with Ramune though- they both taste like awful seltzer water with a hint of medicine. Strawberry lime tastes awful, like something you'd give a misbehaving child. It's seltzer water with a hint of lime and strawberry syrup mixed together, so unless you like to vomit, don't buy this. 1/10, I struggled to finish it and I can drink anything.  The orange mango is a bit better, but still terrible. It tastes like when you put only a drop of tang into water, and it tastes like sour  and bitter. 2/10. I'm not sure who came up with these, but I hate them.

Next up is Yam Yams! These are sold and Target everywhere, in addition to weaboo stores. Yam Yams are biscuit sticks that can be dunked into a frosting dish, creating a psuedo pocky. The two I picked up are dual flavors, Chocolate/ Strawberry and Hazelnut/Vanilla. The Chocolate/Strawberry one is the Dunkaroos rip off you would expect, with vaguely vanilla biscuit sticks, and sugary tasting frosting. 6/10The Hazelnut/Vanilla one's biscuits tasted like munching on a wooden Popsicle stick. Delicious. 3/10.

I initially bought these because they looked cool, but they tasted pretty sweet, so I kept picking them up. Chocorooms are mushroom shaped treats with the top being a chocolate crown, and the stem being a biscuit. They taste the same as any other Japanese snack, sugary, and with a vanilla-esque biscuit. Still, it's the comical shape that sells them- 7/10! I bought two boxes and they were delicious!

These two snacks may seem different, at least at first glance. But no, Japanese snacks that make it to America are all pretty much the same sugary concoctions. Hello Pandas are pillow shaped biscuits that are filled with filling, in this case a delicious sugary strawberry. Well, artificial strawberry. Printed onto the from of the treat is a Panda playing some sort of sport. It's too cute not to love- 8/10! Koala's March is the same idea and Hello Panda, but with A Koala on the cookie! The Kolala is sittign on all of them, that Lazy strayan. He's holding something, since that comforts the slow witted Strayan. They don't taste as good as the Pandas either, the chocolate is bitter, and the biscuit isn't as sugary delicious. 4/10, never again Koala!

Does Hello Kitty even count as Japanese anymore ? I somehow doubt it. Especially since Jelly Belly is American (probably). Still I love me a good bean, so I picked these up. The theme of the bag is all red and pink flavors that no one will ever discern, since everyone just throws fist fulls  of them and eats them like a starving hog. The flavors are listed on the back though, in case anyone cares. They are sugary, delicious, and has a kitty on the bag, what more do you want ? 7/10, Red is a pretty color.

What sort of weaboo snack blog would this be without Pocky, a staple of the weaboo diet? A shitty one, that's what! For the two people who don't know what Pocky is, it's biscuits covered in a delicious frosting. They are sold at Wal-Marts, Giant Eagle, and probably other places I can't remember.  This particular flavor is Strawberry Cream, a variant on the classic Strawberry, a favorite of mine. It tastes like delicious artificial Strawberry, and you can barely taste the awful biscuit underneath. That is all I could ask from any snack. 10/10, would buy stock in. Now it's time to slip into a diabeetus coma, or play Gundam Dynasty Warriors. Tough call.

Food Review! Staring Taco Bell's latest offerings and Weaboo snacks! Get ready to vomit.

Well I ate some of the worst food this past weekend, and now you get to experience them second hand! What more could you want? First up is Taco Bell.

 Up first is the Chipotle Chicken Loaded Griller. I initially started going to taco Bell when I heard tell of the Buffalo Chicken Loaded Griller. I was excited to try this, and was only slightly let down. It's basically a less spicy version of the Buffalo Chicken laoded griller. It has less sour cream, which is a plus I guess ? Still, it is half tortilla like all their other Loaded Grillers, so I expected such cheapness. It's for those of you who want to try something new and lamer than what you usually eat. 7/10

Next is the Chili Cheese Fry loaded Griller. Us Autitsts will remember Sonic the Hedgehog loved Chili Cheese dogs, so this is close enough, if you're a vegan. This is basically a tortilla stuffed with potato turds and a hint of chili and cheese. It was so bland I couldn't even finish it, ugh. I expect better from you Taco Bell! Why you do this to me ? 3/10.

Finally is the stuffed nacho, a great idea. . . in theory.  It's a tortilla in the triangle shape of a nacho chip, but filled with red Nacho bits, cheese, and ground beef. The main issue here is the Nacho bits overwhelm the cheese, which is what I consider the main component of Nachos. When I get Nacho's shit is like cheese soup with little nacho bits. This mess is extremely dry, and notoriously barren of cheese. Still is was $1.40, so I can't  complain too much. I'll give her a 5/10.

 I have a picture of what I ate at the continental breakfast at Red Roof Inn, so here's a review why not ? The blueberry bagel was awful, it was cold, dry and hard. Even smothering it in cream cheese couldn't save it for me. My friend at the other half, because he doesn't believe in throwing it away to mock children in Africa like I do. The bagel was a solid 3/10. Booooo. The apple danish was okay, it's extremely hard to screw something like that up though. I'm sure they bought them from B.J.'s like my dad does and served them to guests. They don't get a score due to being generic. The blueberry muffins were the best part, but they were tiny, and overwhelmed by the poppy seed muffins 3:1, so i couldn't get many without fingering every goddamn muffin on the tray. They were trying to keep the good parts from me! The apple juice was cgood, but every other juice on the machine was watered down or empty. Fuck you neckbeards, I need that juice more than you do! Overall I shall rate it a 6/10, I once stayed at a hotel that gave me free yogurt and waffles, it's hard to top that.

Now for some weaboo snacks fun! they had such variety, how could I not buy so much  ? Lets get the train running with the best. The Ramunes!

For those of you not in the know, Ramune is a carbonated drink with a marble blocking the drink hole that must be popped out using a mini nipple included on top of the bottle. They're over priced, but more importantly, extremely Japanese.  So how do they taste ? The Hawaii blue tastes like a melted blue Popsicle, orange tastes like watered down tang, and the Pre- Cure or Pretty Cure one tastes like sugar water. I honetly can't reccomend any of them, except as collectibles or novelty items. They aren't bad or anyhting,  just small and $3.00 a bottle. Who can afford that in today's economy ? 4/10 for all three Ramunes!

These are Pokemon Fruit snacks! A steal at $2 a pack! And by steal, I mean for the seller, not me obviously. The packages showed Mewtwo and Evve, and i only got the lamer one naturally. There's a bunch of Evee']s and Pikachus, along with Pokemon that aren't generation one, so I don't give an iota of fuck who they are. There was no Charizard sadly.It just can't be helped. They fruit snacks are like every other one you see on store shelves, except gushers or those delicious Ocean spray ones. These are a mixture of sugar and high fructose corn syrup. Awesome. 10/10 cuz Pokemon.

Now time for the worst thing on the list, Brown Sugar Mochi! I've had green tea and purple flavors before, since those are sold at World Market, but never this variation. Brown sugar is delicious, and brown is the color of Chocolate! What could go wrong ?

  First off, these leak powder everywhere. Second they taste like a mixture of old coffee, and flour. There may be a hint of brown sugar mixed in, but i didn't taste it. These are Not GOOD in any regard. I eneded up feeding them to my hobo dog, she loved them. Then again she eats cat turds and my mom's cooking so I am not surprised. Brown Sugar mochi- 2/10. Seriously, the package is slamming, why can't the food live up to that standard?

Finally are these kit things. I thought they were marshmallow doughnuts and gummy sushi, and technically they are, but you have to make you own! It's a creation kit! That's what I get for not reading the box. Then again, I can't read fucking moon runes. Why do the nutrition facts get an Englsih label, but not how to make them ? Fucking Japanese shits! Confusion/ 10

The worst cookies I've ever tasted and other ramblings.

  I cam home from my the gym today and what did I see ? Off brand Oreo Cookies; or as they're called Benton Cookies Double  Filled Chocolate Sandwich Cookies! Oh no though, I quit eating stuff like that! Luckily they were the worst thing I've tasted.

    I put one in my mouth, and immediately regurgitated it. They smelled like a mix of pepper spray and black licorice, and the taste was like eating a skunk's ass mixed with black licorice. They were stale to top it all of it. The worst cookies I have ever had. -18/10. If you see these cookies, burn them or throw them at the nearest employee. It took me a whole day to get the after taste out of my mouth, and even my dog wouldn't eat them.

Know thy enemy.

     In other news, I found out e-books are typically 80-100 pages, which means I finished my millenial novel! It's time to finish the WFD story, I did the cover today:

   I don't know about you, but I think it's the best novel in existence. M.S. Paint is truly the artists greatest tool. I decided to do a novel on how to be a weaboo, complete with anime reviews and the archetypes of anime fans, since apparently having multiple books released at once is the best way to make dosh.  I'd read it, and so should you!

Apparently the Gundam seed destiny remaster has 300% more nipples. I approve.

    I've been rewatching Digimon Adventure, and rereading Animorphs, so there will be blogs soon enough. I'm halfway through Digimon Adventure, and I'll attempt to cover each series from the first to the 5th. Fuck Xros Wars, I couldn't even make it through 2 episodes and I have seen some shit. I'm like an 8th through it, so eventually, probably before the end of Christmas break. Before the world ends and I have to leave my lazy lifestyle. So sad!

Toy wise everything is taking forever, to the point where I could swim to Japan and back in half the time it's taking. I ordered Madoka and Ultimate Madoka Figmas from American sellers, so hopefully they come next week. THIS LACK OF SWAG HAS LEFT ME IN DESPAIR!! Here's my updates:

Asuka Figma-chilling in New York for the past few weeks. I suppose she's waiting for New Years and the ball drop.
Mobip Rin Natsume- Not a clue, but everything else shipped SAL came, she can't be far off.
Figma Yuki Witch version-  She made it to New York, probably out on the town with Asuka.
Figma Koizumi- Still in Japan somehow.
Revoltech Unit 02- not a clue
Revoltech Unit 05- made it to New York with the rest of the gang.
FUCK CHRISTMAS SHIPPING!!!

I caved and ordered Revoltech Evangelion EVO Unit 04 with Mark 6. I already have Mark 6, but ordering both made me feel slightly less ripped off. Alone Unit 04 was $160, but together the set was $176. Yeah, whatever right ? They had D-Arts Terry Bogard for $24, so I slapped him on. I always loved those old Fatal Fury anime ovas and movies, I just waited til he was cheap. I did just find all these haruhi figmas and jungle with the Evangelion 04 and 06 for way cheaper than I paid. My life is truly suffering and pain. I managed to get a pre-order in for Unit 08+02, so yay! No more worrying about rape prices!

Cinnamon Roll Crunch! Since I fucking love this shit!

  I'm fairly certain this blog is powered by Dino Nuggets, Coffee, and Captain Crunch. I plan on being dead before I'm 40, so it's just as planned.I feel it is my duty to spread word of a new variation on the classic formula, especially one this one has a different taste.

It may look like Peanut butter Crunch, but it tastes awesome.

    I'm not sure who told the Captain to go in the direction of Cinnamon Roll, but I assume he was out sailing the seven seas, and raided a ship on its way to Cinnabon. Then he decided to capitalize on it, and merge it with his delicious Crunchiness.The cereal no long cuts the roof of your mouth, and doesn't leave the filmy feeling of the other incarnations either. So how's the taste ? Like soft somewhat crunchy balls of delicious cinnamon! It doesn't exactly taste like a cinnamon bun, but I will always forgive the Captain. Go buy it and Christmas Crunch to celebrate the holiday! 7/10!

Is this another food review blog ? Oh snap yes it is! Chirtmas Crunch and Dino Nugget Substitutes!

    Sometimes the store is out of Dino Nuggets; I know, perish the thought! A fate worse than death! But, unforseen things can arise, and sometimes you have to take what you can get. Especially if you didn't pay for it.

   These both fall under the same maker; Kirkwood and they both have the subtitle snack time chicken, so one would gather they are the same food, just in different shapes. WRONG! One is clearly superior. But which one ? Read on!

  The answer is the popcorn chicken! It has a less breaded taste, and a bit of spice to it, the meat is even more chewy. The Chicken rings are less superior. They leave a grease puddle when cooked, and taste like stale bread. But there is the most important factor- how do they taste with Buffalo sauce ?

   The rings adsorb it better, but  they taste like stale bread, with a hint of buffalo. The popcorn chicken does not fuse as well, but the spices compliment the buffalo sauce. Yum!

Chicken rings-5/10
Chicken rings with Buffalo- 6/10
Popcorn Chicken- 7/10
Popcorn Chicken with Buffalo- 8.5/10

    Now lets roll on this blog with some holiday cheer! Giant eagle stocked it early, so it's time for some Christmas Crunch! Oh yeah!

   Does anything fill your heart with more Christmas joy than the sight of Captain Crunch dressed as Santa pimping out Christmas shaped Crunch Berries exploding out of a gift box instead of a bowl ? You are an inhuman monster if so. So is this just a pretty makeover for the most consumerist holiday in the world ? Yes! But Captain Crunch is delicious, and the crunch berries so pretty you'll forgive it.

   It has the usual taste of sugar and sand paper, which is of course delicious. It will cut your mouth, and leave to unsatisfied, but what more could you expect from a box of cereal with a cartoon on it ?

Christmas Crunch-8/10

Food Review fun! Halloween edition!

   Well it's the most exciting time of the year! As an adult, I can't go door to door getting free candy, but there still is one thing I always look forward to- Count Chocula and candy corn. I just polished off a box of the Count, and I feel disgusting, and high on the sugar. Onto the review!

The original sexy vampire. Take that Edward Cullen!

 

  Count Chocula use to be a year round thing, but the powers that be decided to make in holiday only. I think stores like Aldi's carry it year round though, maybe Ollies too.I suppose it was purely a business decision, but I can still hate them for it!

  Look at those delicious chocolate ghosts, and marshmallow bats! Yum Yum! Isn't your mouth watering ? It should be, unless you're a dirty communist. Now what do they taste like . . .  chalk and chocolate! The ghosts even cut the roof of your mouth, for an even spookier experience. To be honest, I have no clue why I love this shit so much. It doesn't taste that great, makes your mouth feel gross afterwards, and has a vampire on the box. But still, I don't question these things and will award it a spooky 7/10. Delicious!

       I went to Target to get some Gatorade, since I refuse to shop at Wal Mart, and Target supposedly has candy corn Oreos! I have yet to find them, but I'm told that mythical beast exits. I did however see these Starburst Candy Corn, and was curious, and aroused. 

   I know everyone except me hates candy corn, but these taste nothing like it! They taste like Starburst, without being super chewy, and getting stuck in your teeth. It is the perfect form for Starburst delivery. The delicious artificial fruit taste of Starbursts in candy corn shape, with bright colored pieces to entice the eyes as well. The best holiday special candy since Life Savers Jellybeans.  8/10. Fuck yeah, buy them all on clearance on Friday! Along with next years Halloween costume.

      As an energy drink hound, I was appalled that no one had mentioned there was a new flavor of Monster out! How dare they! Anyway it's called Ultra Red, and it's the best of the series, if not the best energy drink after Bawls.

    The can is beautiful, the embossed red can is glorious! It's an amazing well done design for an energy drink can, aesthetic to the eye, and the hand! Still, it is a drink, and unlike a painting, it's the inside that counts. Contained with in sexy cylinder is a lightly colored red liquid, whose shade reminds me of Strawberry Ramune. It tastes like cherry and Creamsicles! Not as good as Bawls Cherry, but I don't expect that from any drink. Still, it's the best readily available energy drink on the market for this one.  I can't be going to COMP USA every time I need my energy drink fix. Monster Ultra red- 8/10.

      I don't know if these are new or anything, but I eat them every week, so you get some sort of ramblings on the subject.

I always buy in bulk, fuck shopping.

     These are the delicious Hot-pockets Pepperoni Pizza with a garlic buttery crust. Is your mouth watering ? Cause I know mine is already! You throw them in their cardboard condom, and a minute and a half later, they're ready to burn your mouth! After they cool down though, it's time to dig in to this miracle of modern science.

    Yum to the max! I know, it looks like every other Hot Pocket ever, but trust me, it's different! It tastes like the name implies- a delicious pepperoni pizza with a flaky buttery crust, but made in your microwave. This entails a succulent mozzarella cheese, and even better pepperoni pieces. All this writing about it almost makes me want to have one! If I wasn't bloated on Count Chocula that is! I give this beauty a 9/10! Oh yeah, time to live off these and Dino Nuggets til I die a very young death.


Well young-bloods, have a fabulous Halloween. Here's a pumpkin I carved. I was inspired by Venom/Carnage.