Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Year end Movie rankings!

Fancy white folks with their credibility and their opinions do this, so why can't I ? The toughest part is deciding the worst movies after The Counselor, because I've seen some shitty shit.


  1. Pacific Rim-10/10: Then best use of robots since Transformers Dark of the moon.
    2.       Iron Man 3-9/10: The best use of Robert Downey Jr. Since Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.
    3.       Prisoners-9/10: Proving that I don’t have completely horrible taste in films
    4.       Hunger Games Catching Fire-9/10: When did Katniss get hot?
    5.       Frozen-9/10-: Disney does it again!
    6.       Gravity-9/10: I really wanted to hate this pretentious garbage, but I couldn’t.
    7.       Berserk Golden Age 3 Descent-9/10: Now adapt another arc!
    8.       Man of Steel-8/10: A Superman movie I love? No way!
    9.       Wolverine-8/10: Wolverine kicks ass in Japan, need I say more?
    10.   Don Jon-8/10: It’s like my life with anime replacing the sex!
    11.   Fast and Furious Six-7/10: They took down a plane and a tank! Fuck yeah!
    12.   Kick Ass 2-7/10: Seriously, why did this get hate, it was great!
    13.   Prison Break-7/10: Stallone does it again!
    14.   Thor Dark World-7/10: A really stupid Thor Sequel mixed with Star Wars.
    15.   Pain and Gain-7/10: Yes you made a movie not about explosions. Now where’s my Transf4mers?
    16.   RIPD-7/10: The best Men in Black rip off no one saw.
    17.   Ender’s Game-7/10: An awesome movie about fighting aliens, with Harrison Ford!
    18.   Oblivion-7/10: Another Tom Cruise Sci-Fi flick? I’ m so there.
    19.   Elysium-7/10: A cool movie with nauseating action scenes.
    20.   Warm Bodies-7/10: Twilight done right!
    21.   World War Z-7/10: The best zombie movie since Warm Bodies.
    22.   The Place Beyond the Pines-6/10: Two cool acts can’t make up for the third.
    23.   Evangelion 3.0 You Can (Not) Redo-6/10. What was this shit, seriously?
    24.   Riddick-6/10: There are worse movies out there.
    25.   Star Trek into Darkness-5/10: I expected better Orci and Kurtzman.
    26.   Monster’s University-5/10: Generic kiddie fair.
    27.   Frozen Ground-5/10: I came for Vanessa Hudgens, I stayed for John Cusak.
    28.   Spring Breakers-5/10: I guess if you wanted a movie about bikinis and robbing this is for you!
    29.   Sharknado-4/10: You get exactly what the title says.
    30.   Oz The Great and Powerful-4/10: Special effects can’t save this mess.
    31.   G.I. Joe Retallion-4/10: Stop putting Bruce Willis and the Rock in everything damnit!
    32.   The Canyons-2/10: Not even Lindsay Lohan’s sagging tits could save this.
    33.   Bullet to the Head-2/10: Stallone and Han have zero chemistry, it’s hard to watch.
    34.   Walking with Dinosaurs 3D-2/10: It was great til they talked.
    35.   Only God Forgive-1/10: What was this?
    36.   Getaway-0/10: I don’t know how this exists, I saw it ironically though.
    37.   A Good Day to Die Hard-0/10: Bruce Willis should retire already.
    38.   The Last Stand-0/10: Johnny Knocksville and Arnold do not make for a good film.
    9001: The Counselor- (-6/10): The worst movie ever made, fuck this sideways and upside-down.

    I still have to see:
    The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug
    Out of the Furnace
    American Hustle
    Secret Life of Walter Mitty
    Grudge Match 
    47 Ronin
    Wolf of Wall Street

    Though I'm sure they won't top Pacific Rim.

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