Gundam Wing Ramblings.

   

     Yep, it's been sometime since I did an animu related blag. So here's one about a series near and dear to my heart. Gundam Wing.  Like most fans of Gundam Wing, I was introduced to the series via Toonami back in 2000. Fuck, that was 13 years ago, damn I'm old. It's a show about colorful giant robots waging guerrilla war on an evil organization, and the pilots and young pretty men.So really, what's not to love ?

From left to right- Wufei, Heero, Duo, Trowa, and Quatre.

    In the future, people live in space, on spinning cylinders known as space colonies! Wheeeee! It is the year After Colony 195. You know what ? I'm going to just copy the opening dailogue,  Campbell Lane does it much better than I ever could:
     "With high expectations, human beings leave Earth to begin a new life in space colonies. However, the United Earth Sphere Alliance gains great military powers and soon seizes control of one colony after another in the name of *justice* and *peace.* The year is After Colony 195. Operation Meteor: In a move to counter the Alliance's tyranny, rebel citizens of certain colonies scheme to bring new arsenals to the Earth, disguising them as shooting stars. However, the Alliance Headquarters catches on to this operation."
     This basically sets up the series. Five young pretty boys, as seen above are sent to earth in their giant near indestructible robots, to fight the good fight, and bring peace to the colonies. Naturally they each have a separate robot to sell model kits. The pilots and their robots are as follows. All pilots are 15 years old.
Heero Yuy- A super soldier with little emotion, high pain tolerance, damn near indestructible, and anti social to boot. The lead more or less. He pilots Wing Gundam, and Later Wing Zero.

Duo Maxwell- an orphan raised by the church, considers himself the God of Death, and is a pretty light hearted fun guy, especially compared to the rest. Pilots Gundam Deathscythe, and later Deathscythe Hell.

Trowa Barton- a mercenary with no real name. He is a clown in the circus, and has the emo kid hair cut.  Pilots Heavyarms

Chang Wufei- Angry Chinaman with a great reservoir of pride, and misogynistic to boot. Naturally, he knows martial arts, and explosions. Pilots Shenlong, and later Altron.

Quatre Reberba Winner- Some sort or Aryan Arab, rich, gay, and has a team of many followers. Pilots Sandrock.

Zechs Marquise ( Milliardo Peacecraft- 18, Millitary officer for OZ, and later leader of White Fang, dedicated to killing all people on earth. Oldest son of the Peacecraft Family, the royal leaders of a nation of pacifists, the Sanc Kingdom. Pilots Tallgeese, and later Epyon.

Relena Peacecraft- Current leader of the Sanc Kingdom, love Heero, and later become Queen of the world really.

 

 

Relena sitting down

Char Aznable. . .  oh wait, that's Zechs Marquise, or is it Milliardo Peacecraft ? Fuck him and his billion names.

   Anyway the series begins with the Gundams and their pilots fighting the Alliance on Earth, until the fighting faction known as OZ takes over the Alliance,  the leader of OZ is known as Trieze Kushrenada.Zechs leaves OZ around this time, and begins going around as Milliadro Peacecraft. Then Oz and the Alliance fight over who will rule space. The Gundam pilots are captured in space, save Quatre. Quatre goes insane after his father is killed by OZ, and creates the bestest Gundam Ever- The Wing Zero, and goes around destroying colonies, because in his words "Outer space has gone crazy." Trowa at this point has snuck into OZ as a soldier, and Heero is being used as a test pilot for the new protoype suit Mercurius. The end result is Trowa is set adrift in space, with amneisa, Heeor and Quatre are dumped on earth, while Wufei and Duo escape with their new suits. Awesome.
   

     The above paragraph is the best I can do to  summarize the first half of Gundam Wing. Here goes the second half! On earth the reformed Sanc Kingdom lead by Relena pick up Heero and Quatre, and have them fight . . . for peace!  Heero is given the Epyon suit by Treize, who has since stepped down from OZ, and wants to die. Milliardo gets Wing Zero in space, while Duo and Wufei fight their own battle in space. Relena is threatened by OZ's new replacement- the Romefeller Foundation to join them as their Queen, or everyone in their Kingdom will be killed. Milliardo heads to earth in Wing Zero after hearing of this,  finding only Heero, and they throw-down. They swap suits in the end- with Milliardo in Epyon, and Heero in Zero. The space forces are split between the Treize faction, people unhappy with Treize being forced down, and the Romefeller forces, headed by Duke Dremail. Looks like it's space time!

    Last paragraph of plot go! The Treize faction is wiped out, but a new force with a giant battleship (Libra) arises to take it's place! White Fang- lead by none other than Milliardo Peacecraft! He basically says fuck earth, you guys suck, I love the colonies (ironic, because he was born on earth.) The Gundam pilots all team up in space on Peacemillion, a battleship that appears out of nowhere earlier in the series. White Fang uses it's giant laser to attack earth, stiring up Treize to take command of the remnants of the Romefeller foundation, and every force on earth. Treize dies in the final battle, killed by Wu fei. The scientists who created the original Gundams destroy Libra, except for one chunk that falls to earth. Naturally, Heero destroys it, the colonies decide to work together for peace, and Relena becomes a delegate between the colonies and earth. The end! Or is it ?

    Two years after Gundam Wing came Endless Waltz- a series of OVAs dealing with the aftermath of the war. Trieze's daughter has an army of robots, and she declares herself ruler of everything! The Gundam Pilots return with brand new model kits to sell! It's a pretty solid movie, and it takes place on Christmas! No Shane Black was not involved.

      What turned many people off about Gundam Wing was politics. I learned all I needed to know about dem dere politically thingys from Gundam Wing. About rulers of nations, pacifism, the need to fight wars to create a better country, all of it. Plus my love of Gundam only snowballed from there. I loved Gundam Wing, and still do. The beginning is a bit dull- with the voice acting quality being sporadic, and the names being well . . . really odd. Still, the series runs like a non stop train ride of action, with some political sprinklings.I still love the suit designs, the characters are likeable, and Heero is the man,  I marathoned it last week, and the nostalgia was euphoric. I give Gundam Wing a 9/10. 

Now enjoy some extremely Gay official art:

It's cannon baby.

I saved the gayest for last!

The Counselor- The shittiest movie I have ever seen.

    Today I saw a movie so terrible, I must immortalize it's impact of awfulness on my life. Which is to say I have a new standard for shitty movies, a scale beginning with the Counselor at 0/10.

You think with all these big names actors, it couldn't be completely awful. You'd be wrong.

    I went into this movie with middling hopes. I liked Riddley Scott enough, and No Country for Old Men enough, plus the trailer made this movie appear to be a fun ride of violence and sex. I got no fun, but there was violence, and sex . . . with a car. Cameron Diaz's stunt double fucks the windshield of a Ferrari, and cums on it. What the flying fuck. Seriously, this movie feels like a bunch of random scenes, poorly held together with characters overlaping.
        The movie begins with an awkward sex scene between the titular Counselor( Michael Fassbender), and Penelope Cruz. I don't think anyone other than a few of the leads had names, and I can't be asses to look them up at this juncture in time. Or ever.  Then it manages to become an incoherent pain ride, much like being dragged by a car through five miles of broken glass.I would prefer the glass dragging than ever watching this again.
     Somehow the Counselor gets involved in a plot to smuggle cocaine, though its never explained how. He just is, for some fucking reason. The spiky haired Mexican guy is some sort of drug lord who fucks Cameron Diaz, and hangs out with Cheetahs. The cheetahs are the only good part of this film, trust me, and they're on screen for like 2 minutes tops. What follows is a drug shipment getting stolen, and lots of decapitating. Death too, because everyone in this film should suffer for being involved in it. Let me give you the run down- Brad Pitt ? Dead. Spiky Haired Mexican ? Dead. Penelope Cruz ? Dead. Random Motorcycle Mexican ? Dead. Most of them by decapitation. Since I suppose its edgy or some shit.
    The film felt like a bunch of film students got together with four other groups of film students, filmed a bunch of scenes randomly with one or two characters overlapping, and edited it all together, and called it a day. People basically are introduced to poorly forward the plot, and usually to die, again by decapitation. Awesome. I really don't understand how a movie with so many good actors could be so fucking awful. There's no tits either, guess you're stuck re-watching Vanilla Sky to see Penelope Cruz's funbags. It can't be helped.

    Yay for boobs. The Counselor - -47/10. Fuck you, it's a number.

Super Action Statue Jotaro Kujo 1.5 and Dio Brando (Hirohiko Araki Specified Color) Jojo's Bizzare Adventure Updated!

   I love Jojo's Bizzare Adventure part 3: Stardust Crusaders. I enjoyed Phantom Blood Battle Tendency, Diamon is Unbreakable, and thought Stone Ocean and Vento Aureo were okay. Jotaro Kujo is easily my favorite protagonist. He's such a cool, and laid back manly man, while still managing to be fabulous. I'm elated for the new adaption of it from David Productions. They are truly saving anime, and I thank them for adapting something good. Maybe someday they'll do Harlem Beat! A man can dream! First up is Dio Brando, the main villain of part 3!

  Yes, I ordered the black version, as I believed that I would never lay my hands on the classic yellow version. Which, of course is on pre order for next month at amiami, since that's how life works. I suppose the awesome punching effect is almost worth buying this guy for. This is my third SAS after Jotaro 1.5, and Jotaro from Diamond is Unbreakable. I'm definitely impressed with his, a lower price point, a stand, a fuckton of hands, a sign post, and the aforementioned punching effect.

    He comes with extra knives as well, and hands with the knives sculpted in. To recreate that famous scene! You know the one!

    I love the detail that went in to him, he appears to be taken straight out of the manga, and is super pose able, to pull off those trademark fabulous poses that Araki so loves to draw!

You're already dead!

Clearly, if you have either Dio or Jojo, you have to complete the set- neither can live while the other survives!

En Vogue!

    I give Dio an 8/10, as I truly hate this color scheme. Maybe I'll review classic colored Dio, and he'll get the higher score this fucker deserves. Maybe, I am lazy. Now onto the man himself- Jotaro Kujo!

    Yes, he is as FABULOUS as you hoped he is! With his random chain, and had hair perfectly sculpted, he's beautiful. He even includes swappable upper pants, so he can put his nub hands into he pockets.

Don't put your hands in a wood chipper chillens!

   I believe a  picture is worth a thousand words, especially in the case of this guy, so here goes!

Yare Yare Daze

  Yes indeedy, he is super pose-able, which is where I assume the super in the Super Action Statue comes from. This guy is super awesome. Super! I give him a  super 9/10! Better pick one up, I'm sure the price will sky rocket once Stardust Crusaders airs.

ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA! WRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

   I received the original Dio Brando, so I'm going to quietly slap some picture in here.

  I really do prefer the yellow version, most likely because he reminds me of a super Saiyan, and he appeared this way in the anime. It's the same figure as the black version, minus the punching effect. I commandeered it for the superior figure. It's beautiful colors bumps up my Dio score to a 9/10! Buy him before the anime premiere and prices shoot up like old faithful ( I almost made a porn reference!) 

Simple Style & Heroic Action S.H. Figuarts Trunks and Vegeta!

   As anyone who grew up in the 90s, I fucking loved Dragon Ball Z. It was two tough guys throwing down for the fate of the world, with power blasts and courage. Seriously inspiring to all us youngsters. These days it's a bit harder to stick with the 300 episode monster known as Dragon Ball Z, but the manga still holds up for me! Dragon Ball Kai as well. So it's no surprise that I had to have the Figuarts. I bought all of the good guys ( fuck villians, and Krillin.) However the constantly rising values of them prevents me from opening them. Holy Fuck SDCC Goku is going for over $300 ? Yeah, you're never getting a review of him. Sorry guys! However Trunks and Vegeta with their smattering of accessories and multiple heads and face were too good for me to leave in the package. So without further ado, LETS ROCK IT!!!

   I'm not shoving these nuggas back in their packages, so this is what you get yo. Some pretty solid packages, with magic inside. I do love the Simple Style and heroic action tagline. That is on the Japanese boxes right ? First up is Trunks, since he's my second favorite DBZ character, after Goku of course.

  Yes, this is everything your childhood self wanted in a Trunks figure! That scuplt, that articulation, that sword! He's everything you want! The full sword doesn't fit in the scabbard, but included is an extra handle with a fragment of the blade. Trunks comes with many a hands,  including some gems:

Good Jobburu!

Yes, he does comes with the classic thumbs up pose, but there is one thing that makes this guy stand heads and shoulders above the rest of the Dragon Ball Figuarts line. He includes a Super Saiyan head, and Super Saiyan faces! Fuck yes!

  That's a bad ass who can take down Frieza and his Father with one blow! Though he may do more, just because he can! Seriously this guy is the quintessential Trunks figure! We will never get one half as good as this guy, the last best Trunks figure was that shitty Hybrid figure that broke for the majority of the owners. Buy him!

  I give S.H. Figuarts Trunks a 10/10! Would marry, and be dumped by because too good for me! Seriously buy him, even at the rape prices, it's only going to get worse! Now as a segue to Vegeta, here's the father and son sporting the same facial expressions!

That father of mine is such a ham!

    Yes, Vegeta is almost as fantastic as Trunks. I get that a Super Saiyan head in this outfit would be non cannon, so I shall forgive them.

 Especially since Vegeta breaks the chain, and comes with an actual stand! Complete with some random blue power blast (Gallick gun? Dirty Fireworks? Kamehameha?) It helps with Vegeta, who has loose legs that often pop off, so supporting his midget ass is out of the question. Naturally he comes with hands to mimic creating the power blast. Yay!

IT'S OVER 9000!!!!!

 Yep, he does include the crushed scouter, and face to create the "OVER 9000!!!!" scene. Thank you 'Murica, for making this a stupidly popular meme.  I can't complain as this guy is perfect. Extra hands, two tails(one loose, one as a belt) a scouter, and head that doesn't have a scouter hole, just awesome. Includes the folded arms so he can appear to be hard, typical manlet.

  The shoulders of the armor appear too high with the folded arms, but whatever, it's not a bid deal. My favorite is Vegeta's orgasm face:

NSFW!

   Hot, all you ladies who love Vegeat need to get this mother before the price spikes, if it hasn't already. S.H. Figuarts Vegeta- 10/10. Wouldn't change a thing!

    This is how I pose my Vegeta and Trunks, locked in eternal battle on their mounts.

Final Figma review til Archer! Figma Haruhi Suzumiya 002 and Figma Kyon 004

   I'm pretty burned out on Figmas, unlike Revoltechs or Figuarts, they don't vary much in quality or sculpt. They're all decent representations of their source material with a stand, an extra face or two, and a bunch of hands, sometimes an extra pair of shoes. It's harder for me to write about something like that. So without further ado, here's what will most likely be my last Figma review, unless someone chucks one at my head, and forces me to talk about it at gunpoint.

   First up is the titular Haruhi Suzumiya, from The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. An average girl who wants a life that is anything but average she forms a club with Kyon looking for adventures and aliens, espers, and time travelers. She' a cutie, which is why she gets a way with it. She's kind of a bitch too.

Don't let the smile fool you, she'll cut off your junk.

  Haruhi is the second Figma made, the first being Yuki Nagato, from the same series. Still, it's not much different that later releases. Great articulation sculpt, and the stand I oh so appreciate. Even with the same hand tree! She comes with indoor shoes for those of you with a shoe fetish, and a speaker cone from her movie director days. She has an extra arm band, which I'd guess says director.

Bitch please, we can do better.

Yep, what can I say about this ? Words word words.

What has science done ?

  This is the quintessential figure for those of you who want to hot glue Haruhi, great figure, captures her kawainess, and charm. Still, it is kind of generic now that I'm attempting to describe it. I also bought this figure for Aya Hirano to sign. I do love Haruhi's novels, I gotta get on reading them soon. Any case number wise this fig gets a 7/10. It gets a bonus point for being early in the line's history. Stop! Kyon time!

  After rambling about generic school girl, generic school boy is a bit rarer, in fact I can only offhandedly name Kyon and Itsuki as the only male school boy Figmas. Guess they aren't so generic after all! Kyon looks quite dapper in his blazer, and the face mimics his deadpan expression perfectly. Well done Max Factory.

  Includes camera hand from that time he made a porno with Haruhi, extra shoes, and the standard extra hands and face. What, you don't remember the porno he made with Haruhi ? Lucky for you I was a camera man on set. Here's a still from the hatefucking:

SATAN GUIDE MY COCK! (clothes don't stop Kyon!)

   Hot, try not to fap too hard. Anyway Kyon is awesome, and he even includes the hands to do Solar Flare! He must know Tien!

   Still Kyon is one of my top ten favorite characters. I love this guy, and so should you!

He clearly used Solar Flare on himself! He'll perfect it someday!

I give Figma Kyon a 7/10.


Next toys i ramble about will most likely be SAS Jotaro Kujo, and SAS Dio Brando. Or Figuarts Trunks and Vegeta. Maybe both, depends on how I feel yo.